Sunrise & Noontime
On October 3 and 4 I co-led a retreat at Camp Menno Haven for American Baptist folks from Chicago. The original intent of the retreat was to help people connect with the wilderness in their own context/space. I was hoping to meet with them to equip and inform them on how to have their own community wilderness experiences. This did not happen. Instead of having a time of rest, retreat, and focus on the wilderness, the majority of people who might have been interested in what I was offering did not feel safe or comfortable attending because of the presence of ICE in Chicago. It is not lost on me that we were at a Mennonite camp and that the Mennonites are historically an active part of peace movements especially in times of conflict and war.
It was an odd thing to be at the camp for that time because of recent events that had happened in Chicago and because of the bigger sense of what was happening in the city and throughout the United States. While I was there I was able to take two pictures that I believe speak to the experience.
In these two pictures I offer different times of day: Sunrise and Noontime. The sunrise not only captures the beauty of the sun emerging but speaks to an underlying sense of unrest that all had. Just before the retreat ICE officers raided an apartment with Blackhawk helicopters removing all residents from the building including women and children. The residents were zip-tied in the middle of the night for hours with no explanation. The red in the morning speaks to the underlying sense of grief that so many church communities in Chicago are carrying as they did not feel safe to leave their homes, to go on a retreat two hours west of Chicago. I may have seen the moment as a rising sun promising hope and possibility, but others saw it as a true articulation of the rage and hopelessness they were feeling.
The second picture is of the pond that we overlooked later that day. With the anxiety and uncertainty that was felt and articulated, we took time to look at the pond. We took time to be still, to listen, to feel the wind, to notice the birds, and to find some kind of hope. It was a moment of restoration, of reclaiming a ground that felt like it was pulled away. It was a moment of being still in the presence of God’s creation. This moment did not make everything ok. It did not remove the pain of anti-immigrant raids, of not feeling safe. It was a moment of restoring one’s sense of God’s presence in the midst of the chaos, unrest, and uncertainty.
We then spoke about what we saw, what we were worrying about, what we feared, and wondered what we might be able to do. Nothing was solved, but we did not feel as alone. The pictures speak to the tension of getting away into the wilderness. Is it an escape? Church communities in Chicago are living in a time of fire and unrest because of oppressive government practices. It is a time of fear and uncertainty for so many, and we need to be reminded of God’s presence to find the strength to stay in the midst of the unrest. Is going to the wilderness an escape? Or is going into the wilderness a way to stay active in the struggle? Finding restoration in our relationship with the Divine gives us a voice that we might not otherwise have and time in the wilderness can give those experiences of restoration. I only wish I could have made the experience open and available to more in a way that they would have felt safe to attend. I strongly believe that we all need to have moments when we can center ourselves, reconnect, and reclaim our strength so that we can stay active, vigilant, and a positive presence in a world that may feel like it is on fire.